I'm just going to keep telling myself this...
I don't want to jinx it, but this has so far been a pretty good week. I worked with the training coordinator to take several completed tasks off my to do list today. I completed a card for the team and learned some more about the PowerBuilder program. I'm being given the opportunity to retake the Ruby class (scheduled for Tuesday) and the Bacon Patrol overview class (scheduled for Thursday).
I also found out more about why Jesus got fired. Turns out I really do have nothing to worry about. I am not about to be fired for skipping training sessions and telling my manager "I didn't want to go." I'm not about to be fired for not handing in homework, for spending 7 of my 8 hours at work on Magic the Gathering forums and watching Batman videos. I'm certainly not about to be fired for skipping my 1:1 meeting with my manager, where we're supposed to communicate about how I'm doing and how I feel about what I'm doing.
So yeah. Add together last night's realization that they won't fire me if I work hard enough and continue to show improvement, with today's new information on why exactly we're now down a man, and I'm feeling a palpable reduction in stress levels.
That said, I didn't make a whole heck of a lot of progress today. I knocked another on-line class off my list. Then I spun my wheels for about 2 hours trying to convert a new Python homework program to Ruby. I'm missing something, and I'm not sure yet what it is. I'm not clear enough on how and when to successfully use classes and/or variables. I may just need to memorize a bunch of methods. I may need to dig deeper into more complex examples. I'd planned to spend time tonight on CodeAcademy, going back to the beginning to see if I missed anything, but that didn't happen. I know I need to continue working hard toward catching up, but I don't have to work every waking hour. Just like I need rest days from working out, I took a rest day from stressing out.
I did have a good hard workout today. Tuesday and today I started by playing with 10lb dumb bells. I know several exercises from P90X videos, so I just did them each 20x. Then I took the Tap Out class, using 3lb weights for all the punching sections. I will probably move up to 5 lb weights for that, pretty soon. I refuse to do most of the floor work because it hurts my back, so I modify by doing something similar in a standing position. This equates into quite a few knee ups, and I'm ok with that. I do try to get as many pushups in as I can, even if most of those are still on my knees. I felt my arms all day today, from Tuesday's workout. I feel them now from today's, so tomorrow and Saturday should be fun.
I haven't talked much about my current food plan. I've been working at gluten free for a while, and have been successful for over a month now. The sugar free has lasted 3 weeks, except for last Friday when I got trashed on mango margaritas. I'm obviously more inclined to make an exception on the sugar front than I am the gluten one, and I still can't envision my entire life without sugar. I'm leaning very hard toward Paleo (pretty much defined here, though I still eat cheese) as the most sustainable for my particular needs.
The gluten free is supposed to help keep my auto-immune thyroid disorder in check. The sugar free is supposed to help keep me from binging. The paleo is because I like the idea of whole, non-processed foods, and because it fits in with the gluten and sugar free restrictions.
I don't know how well the gluten free thing is working yet, and won't until I've been gluten free for longer than a month at a stretch. I'll need blood tests and probably at least 6 months to a year before I'm convinced it's working, or not. As far as sugar free goes though, other than late night "I'm tired looking for energy" binges (which have been confined to nuts and the occasional peach), I've been doing much better. I don't eat everything in sight. I don't always eat everything on my plate, or that I bring for lunch. As far as I can tell the scale hasn't changed any, but with my thyroid disorder water weight is a constant. I'm mostly comfortable with my current plan, which is mostly what's important. We'll see what my comfort levels are once the pumpkin spice hits the shelves, though...