I keep slamming up against a reality that differs greatly from how I see myself internally. I have frequently professed a love for life-long learning. I have spent time finding places to learn what I need to make my job easier, but have yet to spend any real time doing the actual learning.
I'm going through a healthy eating program for my company's Vitality program. The program talks about self-image, and how uncomfortable it is to perform against your self image. According to the program, self image is made up of one's thoughts, beliefs, pictures, and emotions. Google defines it as "the idea one has of one's abilities, appearance, and personality." I've based my self image in part on high intelligence, the ability to pick things up quickly, and a strong work ethic.
Exercise has a similar dissonance. I do work out almost daily. Running is difficult right now for several reasons, so I rarely work up a sweat in the hour or so I'm on the treadmill. I lift or row, but again rarely to a point that makes me sweat. Then I wonder why I'm not seeing any benefits.
Another thing I'm working toward is joining a Crossfit gym. I originally joined my current gym for motivation purposes. I tend not to work out once I get home, and I tend to work harder when someone is there pushing me. I was excited with the list of available classes. Kickboxing. Zumba. Yoga. Unfortunately, the classes 1) are not at a time I can attend, or 2) are not good for my physical issues, or 3) cost extra. Kickboxing does not incorporate stretching, and consists of too much time on the balls of my feet. It took me almost 2 weeks to recover from one class! Zumba, TRX, and now Crossfit classes all cost extra, from $5 to $25 per class. I'm better off joining a Crossfit gym with access to coaches, trainers, and the type of classes I want to take, all for the same kind of money. Also, Crossfit offers the type of community I miss from my Tae Kwon Do days. My current gym has no community. People (myself included) come in, put their headphones on, and get their swole on without so much as a nod or smile hello.
Working out the financing for Crossfit is going to be a challenge. I have other financial goals I refuse to let slide. If I understand the website correctly, it's month to month with no contract. I believe I can manage this, depending on how often I can donate plasma. I should be able to pay for the month when I have the money, then go my current gym when I don't. My current gym is paid up through November, and I'll still use it the days it's the closer gym. Worst case, I can learn the lifts at the Crossfit gym, then do the Crossfit.com WOD at my current gym until I can get back to the Crossfit gym.